Strike Witches Assault: Various Extras
by Jakers-Reviews
Summary: Contains all Extras and Side Stories for Strike Witches Assault, including Chibi Corner, Happy Little Minna's Happy Little Tales, Passages of Lynette, and basically anything that I can't put into the main story.
1. Chibi Corner: Volume One!

Unoffical Theme Song:  watch?v=QMFWnT8_iGM

Song in question is "COOLISH WALK"

Written by Kenzou Saeki

Composed, Arranged by Kakeru Ishihama

A chibi Minna walked in from the right to the left. She then turned to the left, and pulled out a megaphone. "CHIIIBIIIIII ROLLCALL!"

First, Chibi Sakamoto quickly flew in from the left. "Chibi Sakamoto Reporting in!"

Then Chibi Yoshika flew in from the bottom of the screen. "Chibi Yoshika Reporting in!"

Chibi Lynette was actually hovering in the upper left corner of the screen. Chibi Minna "Oh, there's Chibi Lynette." Chibi Minna then look around as Chibi Lynette slowly hovered over to her place behind Yoshika, who was behind Sakamoto. "Say, where's Chibi Shone?"

"I'M COMING!" And he did. Chibi Shone merely walked on screen. "Chibi Shone… Reporting in."

"Say, Chibi Shone, why aren't you flying in on your Striker Unit like us?" Chibi Yoshika asked.

"I'm better on the ground." Chibi Shone Replied.

"Okay, now for CHIBI CORNER!" Minna yelled.

 **Why is Yoshika called "Miya" In chapter one?**

"Simple!" Chibi Yoshika exclaimed. "In the early versions of the script, my nickname was going to be "Miya" for Miyafuji. However, this was dropped from chapter two onwards. Early Installment Weirdness, huh?"

 **Why are all the witches wearing pants now?**

Chibi Sakamoto smiled. "Well, with Striker Units being jetpacks, we don't need to go pantless." Sakamoto stopped talking, but soon _all_ the Chibis were looking at Chibi Minna, who has an unsettling smile on her face. More specifically, it's an _Oh, you have no idea what's in store for you, honey_ kind of smile. Minnas relaxed eyes weren't helping matters by any means.

 **On the Neuroi…**

Chibi Minna spoke up. "You see, there are 14 categories of Neuroi. For right now, here's what you need to know:

Types 1-6 are purely ground based

Types 8-14 are purely aerial based

A Type seven can refer to a really intelligent/strong ground unit, or a fairly low-level aircraft.

Numbers determine strength. The Higher, the Stronger.

For Ground Units, weapons are generally what gets the number assigned. All encountered Neuroi to date have held this system up.

Air Units are harder to number, and are generally referred to by size with ranks. All Neuroi Aircrafts are extremely dangerous.

Type Seven Aircrafts can actually be taken on by humans piloting airplanes and helicopters. Though everyone still prefers a witch. (Yoshika's eye twitches a bit at that.)

"Hey, Chibi Minna?" Chibi Yoshika asked. "When I was inside the Neuroi ship, they spoke in binary. However, In Chapter Four, the commander was speaking English. How does THAT work?"

"Well, Chibi Yoshika, Binary is the Neurois Natural language, you see." _At least we think it is._ "The Binary numbers you heard are likely them attempting to mimic our language. The Commander may simply have learned it by then."

"Oh."

 **Shone**

Chibi Shone spoke up. "For anyone who wants a bit more into how I look, take notes. I'm no more than an inch shorter that Charlotte, my hair is identical to Sakamoto, my eyes are generally close, except when I'm being a bit more serious, in which you can see that they're blue. Oh, and-" Suddenly Chibi Shones Chibi shirt burst into Chibi flames revealing his Chibi muscles. Chibi.

"-that happens" Chibi Yoshika added/ended with.

"Why?" Chibi Lynette murmured

"You see, it's a case of magic being connected to emotions. Everyone has magic connected to something about them. For Shone, it's his emotions. For Yoshika, it's her primal instincts." Chibi Sakamoto said.

"How does his pants always stay together?

"Flame-retardant. We tried to give him a fire proof shirt, and that in turn gave him a rash."

Chibi Yoshika started to think about Chibi Shone having an itchy rash. It was funny at first, but then it just got sad…

"OH!" Sakamoto said. "Shone's last name was going to be Kusotte. It's a rough translation of "hot shit." This was back when Shone's personality was going to be a bit more cocky than he is today."

 **The Catapult…**

"Why DO we have a catapult?" Chibi Shone Asked.

Chibi Minna Smiled. "Well, there _was_ a deleted scene explaining that.

- **Deleted Scene** -

As the girls (and Shone) walked out to pick up the Neuroi Corpses, conversation broke out, leading to Perrine asking Shone "How did you two get to that ship without the runway or Gertrud's help?"

Shone smiled. "Yoshika got the idea to use the catapult to launch us in the air." Perrine was steaming, all because of more praise for Yoshika.

 _First Sakamoto, now Shone? Who's next, Minna?_

What they cast then noticed was Francesa running at full speed to the catapult, starting to… hug and pet it. "They said you were a waste of money. They tried to convince Minna not to buy you. But YOU saved us, didn't you?" She started smiling, just in time for Perrine to drag her away.

"Come on, you have a duty to do, first."

Francesca pouted for a bit.

- **Back to Chibi Corner** -

Chibi Yoshika turned her head sideways. "Francesca came up with that?"

"Yeah, Chibi Yoshika. Francesca is actually a very competent trooper. She wanted the base to have something that the Neuroi couldn't possess, and that we could counter if copied." Chibi Yoshika still looked a little shocked. "What? Francesca isn't _only_ about breasts… _just mostly_." Chibi Yoshika did a double-take to make sure there was no Chibi Francesca behind her. (There wasn't)

 **Striker Units**

"For those of you who don't know, in Strike Witches Assault, A Striker Unit MKI is a jetpack. They're not bigger than a child's backpack, weighs about the same." Chibi Sakamoto smiled. _Bless you, Ichiro._ "That said, we use runways because they aren't too good at getting us airborne, just helping us fly. That's why Yoshika use the Catapult." She then looked over at Chibi Shone. "Shone prefers fight on the ground."

Chibi Minnas _I know something you don't_ smile returned.

 **Epilogue**

All the Chibi smiled to wave goodbye to the screen.

"I'm Chibi Minna!

"I'm Chibi Sakamoto!"

"I'm Chibi Yoshika!"

"... I'm Chibi Lynette…"

"And I'm Chibi Shone."

"And we'll see you all again soon." And pulling out the megaphone again, Minna yelled to the departing camera "Goodbye!"


	2. A Damn-near random skit

Hello… Underline dialog will represent me, the author, for now. You know what? I think you should get something for now. It's going to be another day or so before the bonus story, after which we'll be getting to the second story arc: The Baywatch Arc! (Name is a working title).

However, until then, how about we have a semi-perverted sketch starring five characters from Strike Witches Assault?

(Francesca, Yoshika, Charlotte, Perrine, and Shone are in a room).

Francesca looked over to the other witches (and Shone), and started singing what I writing down for her to write.

"One of these things is not like the other. One of these things doesn't belong. Can you guess which one doesn't belong?"

…

"You're right! Perrine" All four girls look at Francesca in confusion. "She's the only one in this room whose chest I've never fondled."

"THAT'S IT!" Perrine then pulled a shotgun out of hammerspace, and then got up to leave.

"Well… That was short." I agree, Charlotte. "Well, I could simply undress to kill time." Yeah… feel free to.

"My…. My body is not ready for this."

"YAY! NO CLOTHES!"

"No objection from me."

I'm going to sit back and see where this goes-

 ***Knock* *Knock* *Knock***

Yes? Who is this?

 ***Cocking of a Shotgun***

 _Oh Shit._

Perrine shots the Author's door down. "YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT NOW, YOU PERVERT!"

Hey, Hey, Hey. This is the only blatant case of having someone do something sexual that more or less didn't happen in canon. And lets be honest, this may as well have-

*Bang*

"NOT GOING TO RISK IT!"

The Author pulls something out of his… back pocket. Time to use a writers ultimate weapon.

DEUS EX MACHINA!

After the smoke cleared up, Laura Toth was there to grab Perrine Ass shotgun, bend it, and then turn it to dust to destroy what little logic this cluster fuck of whatever you'd call this had. She then grabs and drags Perrine out of the authors room, and in a different direction. "Calm down, Perrine. Plot is this way."

 _So, how is Charlotte's little show going?_

 **looks at his little monitor screen.**

I'm… I'm not going to outright say what's going on right now… Let's just say that, aside from Charlotte, Shone is the only one without his shirt off, yet also the only one giving Charlotte, and her chest, any personal space…

See you next time, where the shit I write will be canon to the story line, and will actually matter.


	3. Lynette's Retrospective: Not Pillows

Hello, Jakers here. I'm just here to let you know what exactly this is. I'm entering something on DeviantART - Flash Fan Fiction Fridays (or 4F for short); I'm trying to relate every challenge back to Strike Witches Assault. I figured I'll start posting them here, but do take note they will be rather short.

This enter **is** canon to Strike Witches Assault

Lynette walked down the hall, pondering what to do with her friend on a mission; Lynette has finally realized how much she's come to enjoy Yoshika's company. Lynette and Yoshika had a lot moments together, despite Yoshika being fairly new; Lynette then remembers a few of their less than innocent moments. Lynette **_then_** remembered the one time she woke up to find Yoshika pushing her chest, with her being very really confused as to why no one else seemed to ever acknowledge it; Sakamoto's entire squad must know it happened, but even Shone never said anything about their Yuri moment.


	4. Lynette's Retrospective: Nightmares

Lynette woke up to find herself in complete darkness. "Wears my bed?"

" **Ah, hello, Lynette."** A dark, chilling voice said. " **I was wondering when you'd wake up. Welcome Home."**

"But… Sakamoto! This isn't my home!"

" **But it is, Lynette. We both know that the 501st Division keeps it's useless stuff in the scrapyard."**

"But, Sakamoto, I'm… I'm not worthless!"

" **Tell that to Yoshika or Shone. You've only leaned on them without actually doing anything alone."**

"I… I…" Sakamoto slowly left Lynette behind in the storage room. She tried to get up, but Shone's melted Striker Unit kept her tied to the ground.

" **Don't worry. Maybe Erica will come down here to collect you."** And with that, the nightmarish Sakamoto locked the door, leaving Lynette in the dark.

"NO!" She yelled in vain to be heard. "I'M… I'M NOT USELESS!" However, trying to pick up the melted unit cause it to engulf her hand, holding her down. She then heard a rather dark voice that she swears she remembered.

" _ **My Striker Unit… why did this happen!?"**_

"SHONE, I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO! I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN!"

"AH!" Lynette yelled, waking up in her bed. "That… that was the worst one yet."

"Really?" Lynette turned to her side to see Yoshika smiling at her. The nightmare again?" Lynette nodded, and Yoshika, almost out of instinct, embraced her in a bear hug. "You're not useless. You saved me from the crashing Neuroi ship, remember?"

Lynette let the positive memory sink in, and returned the hug. "Thank you, Yoshika."


	5. Update 1: YouTube and Condos

Hey, just a quick update.

Last month hasn't been the easiest one. Things keep coming up. However, that's not what I want to talk about.

A more positive reason is that I'm working on my YouTube Channel! Yeah, I actually do stuff there. I'm planning to do a few things there, the first being the "Preview-Review Show!" It's a videogame review show that's about trying to make a convincing review on a game I've never played. The point of this is to show that the problem with many reviews from IGN, Gamespot, and the likes don't give a shit about the reviews they make, as a guy who has never played the game could put more effort into it.

Now, here's something for Strike Witches Assault:  art/Strike-Witches-Assault-Condo-Layout-540825550


	6. Character ID Cards: Part 1

Hey, Jakers here. On DeviantART, I made some ID Cards for the characters before posting the story. I'm posting this remade set of cards as a way of saying "sorry" for taking so long to post the 11th Chapter - which I recommend you go read if you haven't already. Pweez?

 **Name** : Minna-Dietlinde Wilcke

 **Age** : 20

 **Birthplace** : Karlsland

 **Affiliation** : United Nations, 501st Strike Witches

 **Magic** : Yin-Yang and Elemental Magic

 **Status** : Commanding Officer

 **Weapon** : None

 **Range** : None

 **Likes** : The 501st Division

 **Dislikes** : Lies

 **Favorite Food** : Not really that picky

 **Hated Food** : Again, not very picky

 **Details:** Minna, as she goes by from… well, anyone who knows her, is the Commanding Officer of the 501st Division, and as one would expect, she's the strongest witch in the division. Not that there's any scenes to prove that. Mm… wonder why that is.

 **Random Extra Fact:** Minna is one of the few characters to have a pre-established relationship, as she did have a boyfriend before becoming part of Strike Witches. This was carried from the original series.

 **Name** : Mio Sakamoto

 **Age** : 20

 **Birthplace** : Fuso

 **Affiliation** : 501st Strike Witches

 **Magic** : Piercing Magic

 **Status** : Squad Officer

 **Weapon** : Samurai Sword

 **Range** : Type 99 Mark II Canon

 **Likes** : The 501st Division

 **Dislikes** : Anna Ferrara

 **Favorite Food** : Chicken Stir Fry, Egg Rolls, and Ramen

 **Hated Food** : Carrots

 **Details:** Sakamoto is one of three Squad Commanders, alongside Charlotte and Gertrud. Despite this, she is seen as Second in command. Her sword was a gift from her father. Her eye-patch was actually a gift from her mother. She seems to have some sort of tension with Shone, which surfaces from time to time.

 **Random Extra Fact:** Sakamoto has an enormous appetite; this originates from how she can't shut off her magic.

 **Name** : Yoshika Miyafuji

 **Age** : 16, nearing 17

 **Birthplace** : Fuso

 **Affiliation** : 501st Strike Witches

 **Magic** : Healing Magic

 **Status** : Squad Soldier

 **Weapon** : Ninja Sword

 **Range** : Machine Pistol + Common Pistol

 **Likes** : Lynette Bishop

 **Dislikes** : Maybe Perrine

 **Favorite Food** : Ramen

 **Hated Food** : Pears

 **Details:** Yoshika was recruited by Sakamoto, although not originally not by choice, into the 501st Division. She ultimately wanted to get closure with her father and follow up on his goal. She has an odd fascination with ninjas even since she got her ninja sword, but has had no means of looking into it.

 **Random Extra Fact:** Yoshika deeply values her goggles and pistol; gifts from Kyle Yeaser and Minna respectively.

 **Name** : Lynette Bishop

 **Age** : 18

 **Birthplace** : Britannia

 **Affiliation** : Britannia Air Force, 501st Strike Witches

 **Magic** : Water Magic

 **Status** : Squad Soldier

 **Weapon** : Metal Kanabo

 **Range** : Harpoon Crossbow

 **Likes** : Yoshika and Shone

 **Dislikes** : Herself

 **Favorite Food** : Cottage Pie

 **Hated Food** : Raw Veggies

 **Details:** Lynette actually first joined her country's Air Force, but never ended up leaving the ground. She then ended up joining Strike Witches, following her sister Wilma Bishop. She and Wilma are just two of nine siblings; Lynette in particular was in the middle of the bunch, and wound up suffering neglect as a result. As such, she's a bit more closed off to most of the 501st, to the point that not even Minna knows too much about her beyond being related to Wilma. Lynette seems to of found some connection to Yoshika, and despite being easily embarrassed really enjoys the attention Yoshika gives her.

 **Random Extra Fact:** Lynette _loves_ comic books and manga. There's was a deleted scene addressing this. (The scene when Yoshika and Lynette are told what ninjas were to be precise). If I can ever encorperate this into the universe believably, then you'll see it come up.

 **Name** : Shone Hosho

 **Age** : 20

 **Birthplace** : Fuso

 **Affiliation** : 501st Strike Witches

 **Magic** : Fire Magic

 **Status** : Squad Soldier

 **Weapon** : Broadsword

 **Range** : Flare Gun

 **Likes** : Squad Sakamoto

 **Dislikes** : Being called a woman

 **Favorite Food** : Medium Steak

 **Hated Food** : Raw Veggies

 **Details:** Shone, along with his entire family were born in Fuso, but quickly moved to Liberion for job reasons. Growing up, Shone's entire life has been bother for gender-appearance reasons. Ultimately, this resulted in him spending more time around girls than boys. This made joining Strike Witches an easy adjustment. On that note, he's currently the only Wizard across _all_ divisions. Strange enough, no one but Lynette as brought any attention to this. Strange, but I'm sure there's _no reason for this at all..._

 **Random Extra Fact:** Shone has a bad habit burning his clothes off. It hasn't happened in a scene for quite some time.

 **Name** : Charlotte E Yeager

 **Age** : 19

 **Birthplace** : Liberion

 **Affiliation** : 501st Strike Witches

 **Magic** : Wind Magic

 **Status** : Squad Officer

 **Weapon** : "Twister Sticks"

 **Range** : _None_

 **Likes** : Anyone in here Squad, Feeling Warm

 **Dislikes** : Feeling Cold

 **Favorite Food** : Potatoes, especially potato salad

 **Hated Food** : Corn, but only somewhat

 **Details:** Charlotte, or Shirley as she sometimes goes by (she doesn't care either way), commands over Perrine, Francesca, and Laura in a at times motherly way. Her magic lets her control the wind around her, which makes it weird that she's well known for being a ground soldier. Compared to her fellow Squad Officers, she's far more mellow than one would guess. She also doesn't mind anyone doing anything to her. Yeah, she has a "I have, so I flawn it" mentality. This only really bothers Perrine, however.

 **Random Extra Fact:** She's one of the few witches to not wear the same clothes, she actually has quite a few outfits: The two from the series plus the red bikini, and then some.

 **Name** : Perrine H Clostermann

 **Age** : 17

 **Birthplace** : Gallia

 **Affiliation** : Gallian Air Force, 501st Division

 **Magic** : Armour and Precision

 **Status** : Squad Soldier

 **Weapon** : Bolo Machete

 **Range** : Hunting Carbine

 **Likes** : _Sakamoto_ , and her Squad Mates

 **Dislikes** : Yoshika Miyafuji

 **Favorite Food** : Ham

 **Hated Food** : Blueberries

 **Details:** Perrine joined the 501st Division after the Neuroi demolish Gallia and her family went broke trying to rebuild. Official UN records claim that her parents sent her in believing that Strike Witches would give her some new found hope that was destroyed alongside Gallia. This also might explain why she takes how… erm, "silly" her squad tends to act so seriously.

 **Random Extra Fact:** Perrine's Umbrella is actually her first ever magic wand - a device used to transfer magic, often so by witches in training.

 **Name:** Francesca Lucchini

 **Age:** 16

 **Birthplace:** Romagna

 **Affiliation:** Strike Witches

 **Magic:** Youth and Agility Magic

 **Status:** Squad Soldier

 **Weapon:** Brass Claws

 **Range:** Sawed-off Shotgun

 **Likes:** Um... Breasts

 **Dislikes:** Um... Not much, really **.**

 **Favorite Food** : Whatever Charlotte Cooks

 **Hated Food** : Sour-foods, maybe?

 **Details:** Francesca is often seen as the most outrageous member of the 501st, and that says something. Despite this, she actually a very competent soldier when push comes to shove, something that even Laura acknowledges and respects. Her "Brass Claws" are Brass Knuckles that Gertrud combined with some scrap metal. Francesca is rarely in a bad mood.

 **Random Extra Fact:** Francesca keeps a Condensed Carbine stashed away in her room (which she shares with Charlotte).

 **Name** : Laura Toth

 **Age** : 18

 **Birthplace** : Orussia

 **Affiliation** : 501st Division

 **Magic** : Sense Acceleration

 **Status** : Squad Soldier

 **Weapon** : Military Sledgehammer (She has two on hand)

 **Range** : Machine Gun Gauntlets - Built by Gertrud

 **Likes** : Humor, believe it or not

 **Dislikes** : "Weak Witches"

 **Favorite Food** : Strawberry Cake

 **Hated Food** : Metal (Don't ask)

 **Details:** Laura has a long history with Strike Witches. She initially joined the Isle of Wright detachment group, but was moved to the original 503rd Division. After certain events I don't want to spoil, she was placed into the 501st Division. She actually was a squad officer, but was soon demoted to squad soldier and placed in Shirley's squad - something she's still not too happy about. That said, she has developed some sense of humor.

 **Random Extra Fact:** Laura was born in Orussia, but where she was raised is currently unknown.


End file.
